Published on
5th of March 2010 in
General.
The last few weeks have been interesting in our little part of the world here. The good lady and I had a friend from Proserpine (1000km away) stay over for a weekend so she could see the AC/DC show which blew through Brisbane last weekend. It must’ve been loud because even though we’re 6km from the stadium it was held at, we could hear it clearly on both nights (Thurs 25th Feb and Sat 27th Feb).
Bea (my lovely wife) is 33 weeks pregnant too and we’ll become parents anytime in the next 6 – 7 weeks. It’s pretty exciting to say the least!
It’s been as hot as hell here is Brisbane lately. Although the heat has been tempered by some cloudy and rainy weather, the humidity just wreaks havoc on my underpants. I hate sweaty bumcrack weather!
My other half is finding it difficult too. Most likely because she is 29 weeks pregnant and having her insides kicked like a football for a good part of the day. Cool showers and cable tv are keeping her sane along with my tofu, fake bacon and mushroom salads.
Fake bacon. I’m a big fan now. It tastes better than real bacon and is easy to clean up after – no fat. All you have to do is add a few rubber bands while the ‘facon‘ is cooling and it is just like eating the rind. Mmm rind.
It’s been a good decade.
I started out single and drunk and ended up happily married and well, a wee bit less drunk. I started out renting in Clifton Hill, Melbourne and now am paying off a house in Annerley, Brisbane – didn’t see that coming! I started the decade taking orders from a dickhead of a boss – now I don’t have a boss. But some things don’t change.
Hair is still on my head approaching the late 30s, I still have crazy pet in da haus (it was a mad dog 10 years ago – now it’s a mad cat that thinks its a dog) and I still maintain a blog which started in April 2001.
Yes, blogs are SO 2001.
Published on
19th of November 2009 in
General.
And I thought Brisbane was bad enough.
It seems wowsering has hit the city of love.
Published on
10th of November 2009 in
General.
I haven’t been to a zoo in a long time. As far as I can remember I have only visted a zoo twice in my life. Alma Park zoo north of Brisbane when I was 9 or 10 years old and Melbourne zoo about 8 years ago. I always remember my visit to Melbourne zoo because the woman I was seeing at the time was shitting me particularly badly and I actually seriously considered throwing her to the tigers. I’m glad I didn’t. We broke up a week or so later.
A quaint 1950s British tea party for poor Chimpanzees. Note the chains! They must really love their tea parties!
Published on
28th of October 2009 in
brisbane.
Even though I go on and on about how much I hate Brisbane and want to return to Melbourne, I do really dig my local area. It reminds me more of Melbourne than any other part of Brisbane in fact.
I think it’s a mixture of many things that make me admire my suburb. Annerley. Among the charming aspects (to me anyway) is the number of different languages I hear when I go to the greengrocer, the sight of old elderly men who hang outside the local shops drinking cheap wine in plastic cups and the old Aboriginal man who spins a new story every Saturday morning in exchange for $1.
The old Aboriginie is my favourite. One Saturday morning he cornered me while coming out of the bottleshop with a six-pack. He spun me a tale about how he hasn’t had a ‘feed’ in 24 hours and that a spare $1 wouldn’t go astray. I told him that I’d buy him a Subway ‘veggie delight’ for $3.95 and he told me in no uncertain terms to fuck off.
The next week he saw me walking and tried to hide behind a post. I asked him if he wanted a beer and he walked away. So I bought my Saturday morning six-pack and added an extra. As I walked out of the bottleshop I called out to him and gave him a Coopers stubbie. I told him to stop telling me bullshit stories and I might just help him out when he asks.
So, every Saturday morning I have a 10am car park drink with a 65 year-old native man who tells me all sorts of stories. Stories about family, stories about his childhood in western New South Wales, stories about good experiences and the not-so-good.
Feel free to come and join me one fine Saturday morning.
Yay!
John Howard’s gone. He’s been gone for almost two years now. But now we’ve got another career bureaucrat in charge of the world’s largest hick town, Australia.
Listen carefully to what our much beloved Prime Minister says when he speaks. He regularly manages to say nothing within the confines of three, no four sentences, especially in parliament! He has a true gift of the gab – he must’ve kissed the blarney stone in Ireland at some point. I mean, any wanker who can say “detailed programmatic specificity” obvoiusly has nothing to say and expects people to not know what he is talking about in any context.
Another well discussed example of Kevin Rudd’s inabilty to speak English is this sentence, “Let’s be blunt about the order of priorities here. One is a set of actions agreed to by the international community which minimise the impact of coastal inundation as we minimise the impact of climate change but taking the mitigation measures that are outlined in the possible contents of a new framework agreement and the various national actions to be undertaken here in Australia.” What the….
I used to be a Labor voter but am now a nothing voter. Not even a swinging voter. I just don’t care anymore. The bastards can’t even communicate let alone make sensible decisions that are meant to make our lives easier and more enjoyable.
We are told where to smoke cigarettes. Where and when to drink alcohol and whether it should be consumed out of plastic or glass. We are fined for leaving our car unlocked, our dog off a leash in a massive park or riding a bicycle without a piece of foam and plastic on our heads. We pay tax in order for politicians to get pay rises while we have our hours cut. We get told we are polluting the earth too much with our overuse of cars and lounge room lights, then a wise politician approves the development of a new coal mine and then drives off in a chaffeur driven V8 limo.
I’m sorry. I’ve turned into a terribly cynical ranting machine.
Published on
14th of October 2009 in
General.
It has to be one of the best rants I have ever read.
Published on
29th of September 2009 in
General.
I am sure there are many husbands around the world who feel spurned, mistreated and like they have been unduly cast into the depths of hell. They are probably all husbands who’s wives are enchanted by the BBC series Pride and Prejudice.
While completing a comprehensive annual household budget and after cooking dinner for my wife I dared to speak of domestic financial issues and was dealt some harsh words – ” DO NOT speak to me while Pride and Prejudice is on the TV.”
Silence. I retreated to the spare room and logged into Wordpress to create this blog entry.
She used to be a lovely wife. Cable TV had Lifestyle Channel to keep her sane in the daily grind of work/commuter/home life until her favourite shows stopped being shown so prolifically. Those shows were British real estate shows like Property Ladder.
Now that the British property ladder has lost its rungs and anyone hanging onto that ladder has fallen and impaled themselves on a garden stake holding up some snapdragons, I thought that my evenings would be free to contemplate life with the better half, to discuss our wonderful union or plan for a holiday somewhere peaceful. Alas.
Mr. Darcy has other fucking ideas for my beloved partner.
Published on
16th of September 2009 in
ranting.
It seems like an age since I last wrote anything here.
Nothing’s new really. Still working 70 hours a week, still fixing up my old house, still wishing I wasn’t a Richmond supporter (AFL Football) and sleeping intermittently thanks to a over-affectionate burmese cat.
Nearly 4 years after moving here to Brisbane from Melbourne I am still wishing I didn’t move. Not that there’s anything thing wrong with Brisbane, rather I think it’s the ’shut-up-shop’ attitude of the place. It’s boring. Try something as simple as getting fish and chips after 830pm on a Friday night (and we live only 4 km from the city). I have never experienced a city that wants to close as early as this city.
Yeah, that’s my rant for the day.
(mutters……no decent fucking fish ‘n chips after 830pm on a Friday night….fucking unbelievable)
Published on
29th of July 2009 in
General.
So what the fuck was this Masterchef thing about anyway?
I was ridiculed at work today when, in rare moment of silence at 625am just before work started, I asked,”So guys, how’s this Masterchef show going – has anyone won it yet?” Of the five people in the office at the time, three left while frowning at me in disgust and the other two laughed at me and asked what planet I came from. I can’t help it. Reality television has passed me by. It seems I am immune to advertising and ‘water cooler’ chat.
So please, if anybody is reading this, please fill me in on the Australian Masterchef fad. I need help. Please!
Is it anything like ‘Ready Steady Cook’ (English show)?
Published on
21st of July 2009 in
General.
The media is going gaga over the 40th anniversary of human beings setting foot on the moon today. Yay! Apart from probably being the last major anniversary where the first men on the moon are all alive at the same time, there’s really no point to celebrating it. The best we can do now as a space exploring race is overflow our toilets.
One thing I have been noticing is the claim that the entire NASA Apollo program’s computing power was inferior to that of an average laptop sitting on an acne ridden facebook user’s school desk. If that’s the case then I should consider launching my own space program from my Apple iBook G4. I propose an investigation into an Australian Federal Government scheme, powered by my Apple iBook, to insulate the planet Mercury with insulating batts to keep out that dastardly sun. It’s seriously baking down there on Mercury. Get onto it Mr. Garrett.
Said…