Monthly Archive for May, 2002

Have you ever wanted to know what a cow thinks of it’s existence? Yes? Click here to see a (very) mad cow.

Bugs controlling the weather! Bend me over and butter me with a fishfork, now I’ve heard everything.

The folks at ickle.org might be in for a shock. Check out the world’s smallest website. Make sure you play the smallest game of pong you will ever see.

Yasser Arafat now has his own brand of chips on the shelf. Boy oh boy, it’s link heaven today on The Horse’s Mouth. Mind you, all I have done to find these links is look through the Blogdex ‘fresh’ links page.

For all the fuckwits who think that ‘boat people’ are our real problem, read this article in today’s Age. Right now there’s about 12 000 English and Yanks overstaying their visas. Lock those miserable bastards up. Oh, hang on, but they’re white!

Last night I ventured to the Tote Hotel in Collingwood to see a couple of bands. Silver Ray and The Blackeyed Susans. This music isn’t exactly my type but nevertheless I was impressed, especially with the musicianship of the latter band. The Blackeyed Susans lead singer (Rob Snarski) has a silky smooth voice and even though I thought I’d not know any of their songs, I discovered that I had heard just about all the tunes they knocked out. Hmmm. Silver Ray were OK too. A three piece with a drummer, a guitarist and a keyboard player. The best thing about them was that there was no singing, just well melded sound. I should get out more often.

Fancy a game of ‘Turkey Bowling? Yeah that’s right, turkey bowling. Sometimes I wish I had an office job, just so I could waste more of my day on stupid shockwave games.

The movie "Rabbit proof fence" is a beauty. Everyone should see it. Especially liberal party politicians. Liberal Peter Slipper isn’t happy with the promotional material for the film in the US. Perhaps Peter deserves a slipper up the arsehole to awake him from his dreamworld.

Being a linguistics student, I found this article interesting. Many people say that Australians don’t have regional accents. I think that we definately do.

My nearest and dearest is vegan (not a vegan nazi thankfully), which requires enormous amounts of tofu. The big supermarket chains sell a ¼ kilo of the stuff for around 3 dollars. Imagine my surprise, while shopping in an Asian supermarket in Richmond this afternoon, to find a ½ kilo of the same stuff for 1 dollar. What the frigging hell are Coles and Woolworths/Safeway doing? We have sworn never to shop at chain supermarkets except for toiletries etc. from now on. I really do wonder for how long these big chains can keep fleecing the public with inflated prices.

Shit! This blog is becoming increasingly domesticated.

If you like Australian Rules Football, one of the best games in years was played tonight. Collingwood beat Brisbane by 3 points. For the first time in years I threw everything (soft) in sight at the television for the last 10 minutes of the game. And my Tiger boys had another win as well.

The perils of free email accounts. Hotmail, like Yahoo mail before it, are giving away users’ personal details. My primary objective in having this domain was to avoid using crap like hotmail/yahoo.

Below is the result of mixing ‘mullet obsessed’ males with wigs. That’s me on the left with my friend Adrian on the right.

Sorry about that people!

The pics for the urban jungle section are coming along well. I have been sent a few from some friends to add to the collection. If you do feel like sharing your photographic acheivements (pictures of Melbourne’s cityscape) with me, I’d be happy to include your pics on the up and coming page(s). It goes without saying that all due credit will be given if I use the photos on the page. My email address can be located on the top left hand side of this page.

At last, winter has arrived. As I type it is blowing a gale and cold rain is pattering down on the tin roof at the rear of my place. I love it. Except for the temperature. 9 degrees…ouch.

By now everyone has probably received this email but I’ll whack it up here if you didn’t receive it. It is clever to say the least.

"WAR ON TERROR NOT OVER YET" EMPEROR DECLARES

CORUSCANT — Presiding over a memorial service commemorating the victims of the attack on the Death Star, the Emperor declared that while recent victories over the Rebel Alliance were "encouraging,the War on Terror is not over yet."

"We will continue to fight these terrorists, and the rogue governments who harbor them, until the universe is safe, once and for all, and the security of the Neo-New Cosmik Order ensured."

It was one year ago today that the Death Star, perhaps the greatest symbol of the Empire’s might, was destroyed in an attack by fanatic Rebels, who used small, single-person crafts to infiltrate seemingly impenetrable defenses. Thousands of mourners were on hand to remember and pay tribute to the victims and their families.

"We lost our innocence that day," reflected one mourner. "I guess we thought we were immune from the kind of violence that happens in other galaxies. We were wrong."

"I lost hundreds of buddies that day," said one teary-eyed Stormtrooper. "Guys whose only crime was trying make the Universe a safer place."

Although the day was colored by sadness, the mourners found some relief in the news of a decisive victory over the Rebels.

In an attack led by Darth Vader, Empire forces were able to rout hundreds of Rebels from a network of caves underneath the surface of the planet Hoth. "We’re not sure we got them all," says a Vader spokesman. "There are a lot of places to hide in those caves. But we’ve delivered a powerful blow to the terrorist’s infrastructure, that’s for sure. Today, the Empire has struck back."

Initial reports are unclear as to the fate of Luke Skywalker, a hero among the Rebels, who is rumored to have delivered the fatal blow to the Death Star. Skywalker, a former desert-dweller from the planet Tattooine, became a part of the Rebellion after family members were killed. Skywalker was trained by a militant wing of the Rebels, known as "Jedi Knights." Fanatical in their religious beliefs, the Jedi Knights claim to derive their power from the mystical "Force."

It’s believed that Skywalker was specifically trained by infamous terrorist O bin Wankanobi. Wankanobi, occasionally called "Ben" and easily recognized by his bearded visage and long, flowing robes, achieved near-martyr status among the Rebels after his death last year during a spy mission. His more fervent followers believe that Wankanobi lives on within them today, some even claiming to hear his voice during times of duress.

The attack on the Death Star came shortly after the Empire’s destruction of Alderstaan, a planet whose government was known to harbor terrorists. Responding to criticism over the total annihilation of the planet, Vader stated, "There is no middle ground in the War on Terror. Those who harbor terrorists are terrorists themselves. Alderaan was issued ample warning. The fight for continuing Freedom is often burdened by terrible cost."

The cost of this war can still be seen today in the continuing efforts to build a coalition government on Tattooine. Longstanding animosities among the planets various ethnic groups, including the Jawas, Tusken Raiders and scattered human settlers, have been an impediment to the peace process. The Empire continues to maintain a small peace keeping force until a provisional government is finally in place.

Much of the difficulty in fighting the Rebel forces stems from their lack of a central organizing structure. "They don’t play by the traditional rules of war," complained one spokesman. "They come in all shapes and sizes, united only by their single-minded desire to destroy the Empire before it destroys them."

The Emperor closed his comments today by stating that "the cowardly attack on the Death Star left a deep scar on the Empire. However, we will not stop fighting until every last evildoer has been brought to justice." He paused for several moments, wiping away a tear and then added with determination, "We will never forget."

"I wish we could all just get along," said one of the mourners. "But it’s hard to offer an olive branch to a cult of religious fanatics whose main tool is violence and who insist on calling us the Dark Side.’

From an unknown source. If anyone knows where the original text lies, please let me know.

Since I’m approaching my 30th lap around the sun, I’ve been trying to seriously save for a decent deposit on a house. At last it seems that my prayers have come true – house prices are too high and may slump. Of course the downside is that if I do buy within the next few years, interest rates will be high. But at least it might be the case that for each $1000 I save, house prices won’t go up by $5000 as they have for the last couple of years.

This link WILL offend many people with regards to the phenomenon of suicide bombing. Please don’t whine about me linking to it. It IS sick, there’s no doubt about that. I find it incredible that someone actually thought this up. I wonder how long this download will stay available?

Perhaps the quote of the year.

"I’d hate for you to think this is some kind of marketing agenda," Hale said. "If there is an agenda, our agenda is related to getting good information in people’s hands."

Phew! A 5 day break from blogging. I did have a bit to tell but it’s all forgotten about now. Spent Friday night getting tanked in my lounge room to a collection of old cd’s, spent Saturday catching up with friends around Prahran (what a frigging shithole it is, next time I go I’m wearing thongs, shorts and a VB t-shirt to counter-balance the emphasis on ‘labels’ in that suburb) and spent today contructing a veggie patch before taking a tram to Colonial Stadium to see my tiger boys have a kick in the park. I think they forgot that 23 000 people were watching and that they are paid $5000 a game to try a llittle harder.

So yeah, I haven’t turned this PC on all weekend and it doesn’t appear as though I’ve missed much.

I have found a very interesting site hosted by Monash University. A gazetteer of Australia’s cities, towns and suburbs. It seems that the authors only bothered to research Victorian localities though.

And no…Winona Ryder isn’t worth having the hots for.