Archive for June, 2002

I have often wondered how

I have often wondered how this new CSS layout would render in a text only browser. This site showed me how it would render in Lynx (via absoblogginlutly)

This evening I ventured out to the Lumiere cinema in Melbourne to see No Man’s Land. Basically it is a bizarre story of two soldiers, a Serb and Bosnian who get trapped between lines. The UN becomes involved and an absurd situation develops. I don’t know if it’s meant to ridicule the UN, but it certainly paints it as a toothless organisation. The very black humour exhibited by the three main characters during a time of great stress was the highlight for me. But beware, there’s no happy ending in this story. Let’s just hope that the actual region that this movie deals with does eventually have a better future.

The future for my AFL club looks about as rosy as the ending of the above mentioned film. Richmond laid down and got bummed again, this time by Geelong.

Winter has arrived in Melbourne

Winter has arrived in Melbourne at last. Anyone that lives here would be able to confirm that. I lived in London for 2 years, it’s colder there but after our lovely summers you can never get used to 10 degree days. Argh! The wind is the worst thing about winter. And the gas bill…and the power bill…and this uninsulated house…and…

It appears as though the link from yesterday (regarding Dr. Who’s personal assistants) has been pulled.

Drug testing for school students has been given the AOK in the state of Washington, USA.

With respect to the link above - How can a blogger whine about privacy when personal thoughts and opinions are posted for just about anyone to see?

Sometime in the last two weeks myboot.com has been removed. It was a simple but excellent site authored by a guy in St. Louis. It had a fantastic ’short story’ (that ended up being a not-so-short story) about a twenty-something man and his experiences with dating agencies. The author was Craig Mitchell.

I hope don’t lose interest in this site like has happened to myboot.com, and just let it rot. It’s only been just over two years since I owned my first computer and I’ve come so far. 3 years ago if you had told me I’d know the ins and outs of (X)HTML, CSS etc. I would have laughed my arse off. It’d be a shame to just let that knowledge be wasted.

The World Trade Centre towers under construction in 1971.

All hail Palladium. Our future

All hail Palladium. Our future will soon be secure.

As I said yesterday, another boring World Cup final looms as two of the usual suspects get to play each other. It’s the same 5 or 6 countries each time around. Maybe FIFA should invent a handicap system, like the AFL has. The lower you are in world rankings, the better players you can force to immigrate to your country in order to play for you. Brazil, for example, would have all members of their World Cup squad up for grabs - via a UN treaty. Nations like Uganda, Fiji and PNG could secure a draft pick and choose the players of their dreams. The players must emigrate or be held imprisoned under another UN regulation which should read like this - Resolution 99583 will order that "drafted players must move to the country that has chosen them or be held indefinitely in a cell 2 metres by 1 metre overlooking the Gulf of Mexico." Easy. Watch out Kofi Anan, I’m on the road to international diplomatic fame.

The Tardis Keyhole. This site is for those of you who have a disturbing attraction to Doctor Who’s female companions. Beware, it contains very sexist material and is borderline madness. I suppose that’s why I’m linking to it.

Another big US company has

Another big US company has lied about it’s true economic health sending stockmarkets reeling. Are you too young to remember the late 80′?. Arseholes in white shoes made too much, too quick, and the law of gravity kicked in.

I have my domain name registered through Verisign. It has come to my attention that there a few people who aren’t happy with their behaviour. VerisignOff.org has a couple of interesting articles in it. My host, futureweb, told me some months ago that I may have trouble moving away from Verisign. I just shrugged and couldn’t understand why I would have any trouble. Hmm.

Mark Latham, although a bit of a loudmouth, has my total support. Anyone who calls John Howard an arselicker and expresses occasional feelings of hate towards liberal pollies gets my seal of approval. Go Marky boy! Say it like it is.

In The Bulletin interview, Mr Latham also said he hated the Liberal Party.

Workplace Relations Minister Tony Abbott said it was upsetting Mr Latham’s politics were driven by hatred.

But Mr Latham said it was outrageous for Mr Abbott to attack him when the minister had described the unemployed as job-snobs and been kicked out of parliament for shaping up to fight a Labor politician.

We need a bit of colour pumped into the politcal scene. Mark Latham delivers it. We need more abuse, name calling and raspberries accross the chamber. All of these things are desperately needed in modern politics. Basically, a sign of humanity, no courteous bullshit.

Looks like another boring World Cup final. I hope Turkey wins tonight, just for a change.

John Saffran provided a few

John Saffran provided a few chuckles last night with his new show, Music Jamboree. I’m assured by a friend (who has seen the next two episodes) that next weeks episode is a ripper. Saffran goes back to his orthodox Jewish school in the leafy eastern suburbs of Melbourne and causes a bit of a stir. Let’s just say that it has a "Footloose" feel to it!

For the last week or so, while trying to fix this motherfucker of a site, I have been delving into the murky world off CSS. Tableless layout does make things a whole lot easier that’s for sure. Also there is much more control over positioning and appearance. Once again, A List Apart provided me with loads of tips. Slowly the entire site will be transferred over to the new layout. Unfortunately, due to time constraints I won’t be altering the basic layout and the entire site will look quite ‘templated.’ Stiff shitties if that bothers you too much.

Kournikova loses yet again. She might command large merchandising fees and sponsorship deals, but unless she pulls a win out of her knickers soon she’ll be working hard for the Russian Mafia in order to eat her cabbage soup each night.

The counter terrorism bill is being debated as I write. That should give you a good insight to how I spend my evenings. Listening to Senate debates on Newsradio. Such excitement! But really, half the people I go to University with would be classed as terrorists should their organisations be ‘prescibed’ as ‘terror organisations.’ Sure, that might seem outlandish, but the possibility is there. Political views will be able to be held against you as far as I can gather. This government is one scary unit. Anyway, I like not to comment too deeply on politics as I don’t know enough history to lead an informed argument. I tend to get shot down very easily. All I know is that when basic rights start getting chipped away, people should start asking far, far more questions.

It’s nice to get a

It’s nice to get a little bit of feedback about the new layout. For the last year or two I thought that myself and my mother were the only people reading this shit. Thanks Shauny for your seal of approval, thanks Ben for telling me to change the link colours and thanks Adrian for filling up my inbox with screenshots of my site. I know what it looks like mate. And yes Adrian, (who has just bought a new computer) if you rack up huge bills for online time/downloads you can move into my garage. How does $60 a week sound?

Anyhow, I’m off for the evening to watch John Saffran do his best on his new show, Music Jamboree. It should make interesting viewing. (SBS 8.30est)

Well? How do you like

Well? How do you like it? My new CSS layout looks OK but unfortunately Dreamweaver doesn’t like it.I dare say older browsers won’t like it either. Anyhow, not enough people read this to make it worth worrying about. I pilferred the CSS from about 10 different sites - well, it’s not pilfering when I change the #div and class names is it? The web is a wonderful thing. Share and share alike.

The world of sport has been throwing out a surprise or two. Of the last 4 teams left in the World Cup, two are from countries not known for their prowess with a football. South Korea and Turkey. I would have liked to see Senegal in there though.

And those of you that know me well will know that I have the Richmond FC premiership team from 1980 tattooed on my arse, that’s how much I like ‘em. At present they are being absolutely flogged by Port Adelaide. After getting to the preliminaries last year, they should be doing better than they are at present. Sad times are these.

Holy shit! Try learning this language (via virulent memes). Beware of all the pop-ups.

When an Australian community leader says that “absorption of people of many different colours, creeds, races, religions…is a recipe for disaster,” we should all be getting a little concerned. The same windbag also called people from mixed race parentage as ‘mongrels’ in 1996. The comments were made by Peter Davis, mayor of Port Lincoln. Perhaps the scariest point is that he was voted in by the people of that town very recently.

I’m very glad that I’m

I’m very glad that I’m a mediocre blogger. I don’t get harangued for my political views (a little to the left) or told I’m stupid (like poor Graham) for also thinking that anything Rupert Murdoch owns is a waste of time, money and resources. How the fuck did The Australian get "Newspaper of the year." Who reads newspapers anymore anyway? You can read the same drivel for free each day on their websites.

The political compass. My results state that I’m a left libertarian.
Economic Left/Right: -3.12
Authoritarian/Libertarian: -4.62

There you go.

The masses will not have big black bags under their eyes tomorrow morning as there is no World Cup soccer on tele tonight. Thank you FIFA.

A couple of things have

A couple of things have caught my eye today. Another article on blogging appeared in The Age.

Also whacky 404 pages keep being knocked out ( Don’t forget to check the trouser settings).

Last night was a festival

Last night was a festival of sport in my lounge room. Firstly I looked on as Sydney, yet again, lost the unlosable to Geelong. Then I watched England pummel the Danes into submission. The next few days are my favourite as far as the World Cup goes. No bullshit. You lose - you go home. I’m betting on a Spanish conquest this time around by the way.

Google bombing.

Here we go. I challenge all fellow bloggers to make up a paragraph of text with all recent search requests included. Mine could go a little something like this :

"Bend over the horse gallery and you’ll see onion articles," he muttered under his breath. "Not until you show me the reason for Noam and Wayne Carey taking photos of operation big boobies." He was stumped. Was there a response to such a bizarre challenge? "Well smartarsepants, I’d like to see you heft a large weight on your shoulders whilst suffering from a virulent strain of meme." There was no answer. Silence. Deafening silence. So much silence that one could hear a pin drop in a pile of horseshit. Steaming hot for that matter. At this moment a revelation swept over him like an insurgence of african killer beas on heat. "It’s simple," he cried aloud, "My fishtank coffee table isn’t big enough for 5 rabid piranhas."

Don’t worry. I haven’t gone mad. Not just yet anyway. The above passage of text contains ( believe it or not ) 31 search requests that landed at this very page. Harumph!

1.5 is my score. How do you rate in the Kiss Off?

Jen is trying out some

Jen is trying out some mind games on her work colleagues by wearing rings on different fingers. One of her comments was that she would like to see if she gets ‘chatted up’ more often if her ring finger appears to be engaged. Well Jen, it’ll probably work. I got engaged during an overseas phonecall about 6 months ago and guess what happened. That night I went out to a pub and got cracked onto by very ambitious ladies… thrice. And that was without a ring. ( Are males supposed to wear engagement rings?..I dunno ) Seeing as for the last 10 years no female has ever attempted to chat me up while I’ve been socialising ( mainly because I used to get slaughtered every time I left the house ), I found this very strange. Actually, I’ve probably been chatted up quite a few times, but seeing as I will never shout a drink for somebody I don’t know…well, that says it all doesn’t it?

As a bright mind once said - "I spent my twenties scratching my arse and bumping into things" ( I think Glen Robbins said that ). I have many bumps on my head.

Beware the bloop.

John Lennon.

Tonight he was described to me as one of the greatest writers of lyric that has ever lived. If I may beg to differ.

Instant Karma’s gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon, you’re gonna be dead
What in the world you thinking of
Laughing in the face of love
What on earth you tryin’ to do
It’s up to you, yeah you
Instant Karma, John Lennon, 1975.

Woman is the nigger of the world … yes she is
If you don’t believe me,take a look at the one you’re with
Woman is the slave of the slaves
Ah, yeh … better scream about it
Woman is the Nigger of the World, John Lennon, 1975.

He wear no shoeshine he got toe-jam football
He got monkey finger he shoot coca-cola
He say "I know you, you know me"
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free
Come together right now over me
Come together, John Lennon, 1969.

Now then. If you compare John Lennon’s work with the lyrical works of geniuses like Trent Reznor, for example, I think you would be shocked.

you let me violate you
you let me desecrate you
you let me penetrate you
you let me complicate you
help me
i broke apart my insides
help me
i’ve got no soul to sell
help me
the only thing that works for me
help me get away from myself

i wanna fuck you like an animal
i wanna feel you from the inside
i wanna fuck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god
Trent Reznor, Closer, 1994

he couldn’t believe how easy it was
he put the gun into his face
bang!
(so much blood for such a tiny little hole)
problems do have solutions you know
a lifetime of fucking things up fixed
in one determined flash
Trent Reznor, The Downward Spiral, 1994

Just now as I write,

Just now as I write, the World Cup champignons (France) of 1998 have gone down 2-0 to the Danes. One hit wonders? I think so.

How much of a hippy are you? Take the quiz. My score added to 23 and I was given this advice - " You’ve got some hippie in you, hang out a while." Cool!

Fuck off John Howard. Stay in Washington and become a US Senator you brainless twat. You’re ruining this country and it’s good reputation around the world.