Archive for December, 2002

going barmy

I wonder if Justin Langer will ever diss the Barmy Army again. I was just listening to their latest chant on the tele. “We’re so fat it’s unbelievable,” is their reply to Justin Langer calling them a bunch of overweight drunks.

The beaches on the harbour here in Sydney are pretty clean. I always assumed they were covered in shit (literally), oil slicks and rubbers. I rubbed shoulders with the elite at Nelsons Bay. Very nice although I should have worn sunscreen. Oooo!

sydney, nice and warm, daytime tele…

Sydney. I like the place. Seeing as I’ve been here for all of 3 days I don’t think I can say that with a great deal of gusto but first impressions of any city I visit usually stick.

I did the tourist thang this morning, you know, city, Circular Quay, Opera House etc. But I made sure I stopped off at a pleasant enough pub in The Rocks to watch a bit of the cricket. Unfortunately I saw Steve Waugh go out for 77 and get yet another standing ovation at the MCG. At least they had Carlton Draught on tap at the Observer Hotel.

Wooloomooloo was next and Kings Cross quickly followed. I will save a visit to the Boubon and Beefsteak for another time. The rest of the afternoon was spent getting sunburnt on Bondi Beach with approx. 20000 pommies, Irish and Scots trying to play beach cricket and swim. Blargh!

I learnt one thing. I will never complain about the cost of public transport in Melbourne, ever again. Sydney’s public transport system is bloody expensive.

on the road again

I hope everyone’s had a good christmas and boxing day. Even if you don’t happen to be a christian, it’s a relaxing time of year. Things really slow down. That probably the best thing about it.

Moveable Type is showing it’s usefullness once more. I’m visiting Sydney for the first time at present and (after I recover from the effects of over-eating and too much Johnnie Walker last night) will be busy for the next 5 days checking out the sights and meeting my fiancee’s old friends and getting pissed a few more times. Ahhh. Holidays.

dry as a dingo’s…

Obviously I didn’t drink enough water on Friday night. During my cricket game on Saturday I had to leave the field. Too much sun and not enough water can be a dangerous mix. So can being hit in the head by a cricket ball. Ouch!

It’s amazing what a good sleep can do though. After 12 hours in bed, several litres of water and 2 litres of an orange liquid sold by the coca-cola company, I feel pretty bloody good.

For once cable television came in handy. On arena, a cable station, a BBC production caught my eye. Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends. It was a hilarious show. I think I watched about 7 episodes (over 5 hours). It was a terrible waste of time but very, very entertaining.

Incidentally, it turns out that Louis’s father, Paul, is my favourite author. I might just start reading The Old Patagonian Express again. Recommended reading.

life’s little trials

Tip for the festive season - avoid alcohol and telephones.

I recieved 7 phonecalls within an hour last night from an ex. Messages bordering on the insane were left (including one message that consisted of 4 minutes of what sounded like christian rock) on my home and mobile voicemail. (I never thought unlisted numbers were worth it!)

Weird comments were left by the same person on the last two blog entries as well. Now, I don’t want resort to airing dirty laundry on this blog but if the culprit happens to read this…

FUCK OFF AND STALK BARRY MANILOW.

Anyone who has met me knows that I am barely stalkable. If you need any proof just click here.

Phew. You just don’t realise how contactable you are until one person decides to bombard you with messages via landline, on the mobile, via email and comments posted on your blog.

This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced this kind of attention though. The same person has given me some unwanted attention in the past.

Anyway, it looks like the western world wants a war for christmas. If being pre-emptive is the way to go, I just may pre-emptively steal my local 7-11’s slurpee machine to prepare for the apocalypse. I’m sure the apocalypse will be more enjoyable with pint glasses of pineapple flavoured crushed ice.

Well that’s my blogging for the day. I’m off to drink copious amounts of water in preparation for a big day’s cricket tomorrow. Playing in 40º heat isn’t the most ideal thing to be doing on a weekend, but it keeps me out of trouble.

religion schmeligion

I have a customer at work who proclaims to be the holiest of holies. She’s always spouting on about god and Jesus and commandments and last suppers etc. Today she was galavanting around her office saying that today was the 5th day of Christmas and something about 5 golden rings. Well well. It seems my godfaring friend is mistaken.

“The Twelve Days of Christmas are probably the most misunderstood part of the church year among Christians who are not part of liturgical church traditions. Contrary to much popular belief, these are not the twelve days before Christmas, but in the Western Church are the twelve days from Christmas until the beginning of Epiphany (January 6th; the 12 days count from December 25th until January 5th).” Courtesy of a religious mob. Thank you.

How about a redneck christmas song?
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o’ Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
… And some parts to a Mustang GT.

Many apologies for the overuse of italics.

bah humbug!

I work in and around the city (Melbourne) all year round. The city is quite an easy place to navigate except when fucktards from the suburbs decide to drive into the city and bum around looking surprised at the fact that on street carparking is hard to find. As I follow patiently, the passengers and driver point at empty spaces on the side of the road. 9 times out of 10 these spaces are taxi zones or bus stops.

If it was possible for me to use the trams for my job I would. As it happens I need a van to cart loads of gear around with me all day. Loading zones are my lifeblood. If it wasn’t for loading zones I’d be up for $40 or $50 in parking meter costs per day just to do my job. And guess who parks in the loading zones. The same fucktards who can’t find a legal spot to park in. Melbourne is blessed with good public transport (although it’s run by wankers) compared to other cities in Australia. Why do people refuse to use it?

Oh, I forgot. It must be hard sitting on a train/tram with 10 Myer bags, 3 David Jones bags and a new x-box.

take the cake and eat it

Being a little short of cash lately, I may have discovered a way to earn a little extra dosh. Someone did a search on AOL Australia for “cake deliveries in Melbourne.” Easy. I have an oven and a website…all I need to do is learn how to make cakes. Does anyone have some spare cash for me to burn for a new e-business startup? C’mon, you’ll get a good return, I guarantee it!

ready mister music

Billy Bragg entertained me tonight. In the living room no less (on the CD player). He played all the songs from his last album and surprised me with a song that contained very Melbourne lyrics.

It’s not very often that you hear Australian places mentioned in songs. There could only be 20 or so bands that I can think of (that I have heard) that include Australian place names in their lyrics.

Just for interests sake I’d like to know what you think. What are the 5 MOST OVERMENTIONED locations in modern music. Los Angeles, New York, London, Kansas City and Memphis come to my mind.

Where else?

let the war begin

The threat of a big frigging war hangs over the world like a crappy, brown, imitation velvet curtain in the living room of a cheap rental property.

That’s not the war I’m worried about. I’m more worried about the war between fast-food outlets spreading from mid-west US states to my fair country (Australia). The consequences could be disastrous for the waistline and cholesterol level of the average person.

Read Craig Mitchell’s description of The Fast Food Price Wars…and remember…Bacon is your friend.

watch what you write!

Joseph Gutnick has had a win in his attempt to sue Dow Jones. What I can gather from this is that a web page is considered published in the place it is read, not where it was written, or where the site is administered.

I suppose we all have to watch what we type from now on.

lorem ipsum

A lorem ipsum generator.

I always wondered where that slab of text came from. Now you can generate your own. (via domestik alien)