Archive for March, 2003
welcome written on the doormat
I’ve been doing this blog thing for almost 2 years. Holy underpants Batman!
disimformation is legitimate
Fuck. Fuck. Triple fuck. Fuckidy fuck.
Richmond lost to the imperialistic forces of Eddie McGuire’s Collingwood this evening at the new-look MCG. Collingwood used a “WMC” (Weapon of Mass Confusion) tonight against my favourite AFL team.
Each time Matthew Richardson looked like marking the ball, his opponent would shout out questions from “Who wants to be a Millionaire”. The first was clearly heard from the sidelines. “For $250 000, what is the main ingredient of Hollandaise Sauce, A: Egg yolk, B: Coriander, C: Balsamic Vinegar, D: Water.” NOT FAIR. Richo has trouble boiling water and after a question like that he has no chance of catching an oval shaped ball that is coming at him at speeds approaching 50km/h.
Also, tonight’s game started with the national anthem. I have no problem with our national anthem, it was just that it was a Julie Andrews version. Bugger me, I hope the AFL isn’t going to be playing that version before each game this season. I’d rather see Angry Anderson do a lap of the MCG in a Batmobile while singing “Bound for Glory” (circa 1991 AFL Grand Final) at each game to be honest. Still, nothing beats Billy Idol scratching his nuts and sneering at blades of grass for 5 minutes. That’s entertainment!
metaphors can kill
“Metaphor and War, again.” An interesting article from Alternet.
americans make good ashtrays
One subject you don’t read much of in blogs is sex. I mean, who wants to know if you like it upside down in the broom closet at work, with the lights on, off, or curtains drawn or open. For most of us, including me, we have no intention of “letting the cat out of the bag” with respect to sexual orientation or detailing our sexual activities (if mention is made at all, most bloggers are more likely to refer to a “lack of”). As well as generally being a weblog taboo it is protection from the “online freak,” a person who starts fizzing at the bunghole when the word tit, pussy or dick is mentioned on a web site.
I write this because the previous entry had links to ratemyboobs.com and ratemygasmask.com and I was emailed by several freaks. 3 emails said I was disgusting for mentioning the links and 4 got all excited and asked whether I was female and if so would I like to meet up and bonk (New Jersey is a little to far away though…wrong hemisphere). If these thickheads had read a little more of my blog they would have found out that I was a straight male about to get married. No chocolate starfish for me thank you very much.
There are a number of bloggers out there who aren’t afraid of talking about sex. Dubberley.com is blog written by a porn writer and qtopia is along the same style with personal stories and links to saucy stuff. Many people just dismiss any talk of sex as “distasteful” and out of place, especially on the web, with the current Australian government raising the stakes by proposing strict “anti-sex” laws on sites hosted within Australia.
Sex is a powerful subject and it seems that blogging has another “niche” subject. First there were techblogs and warblogs. Now sexblogs.
the war against mullets
This entry will be the last to mention the goings on with the invasion of Iraq. I am sick to death of hearing all the lies.
SBS Television (Australia) aired a documentary tonight on Iraq’s history of arms development. The French selling nuclear reactors and fuel to Iraq, the Germans selling chemical production technology to Iraq, the US selling biological agents to Iraq as well as helicopters and missiles. Argh! The best sight was seeing a slightly younger Donald Rumsfeld shaking hands with Saddam in 1983. Friends become enemies so easily don’t they. The next few decades are going to be very interesting to live through. Enough said.
If only the current war could be fought with these weapons.
Grouse has popped another ripe cherry. By now you have probably seen ratemypicture.com and ratemyboobs.com . Now we have the ultimate…ratemygasmask.com.
No, hang on. I’ve found something even worse. WARNING. Don’t click the following link unless you have a very strong stomach and an extremely warped sense of humour…ratemypoo.com.
Sorry!
a shot in the arm
I’m wondering who’s going win in this latest episode of “Survivor.” With around 500 000 contestants it’s going to last a while. Maybe the best thing to come out of this war is the fact that everybody’s going to be sick of reality television whenever the bombs stop falling.
This is bad! “Women opposed to the war with Iraq have been urged to withhold sexual favours from their partners if the menfolk are pro-war.” Crime against humanity as far as I’m concerned. If you read on in the article you’ll find out that the idea is about 2418 years old though.
woo haa woo haa
The French do it so well. (from Le Monde)
A good blog to read right now is mideastblog. Written by someone who has actually lived in Baghdad. A good quote from today’s entry - “Bush promised to feed and give health care to all Iraqis after he occupies it. Funny, he cant even feed and give health care to all Americans. “
Courtesy of the same comes this interesting article. TAKING THE BAIT -
Bush is giving bin Laden the war he wants. Yeah, I know, I’m still stuck reading leftie propaganda. It beats reading bullshit in the papers.
join in the killing
Shock and Awe huh? Bite me Georgie. Bite me Tone. Bite me Johnny. You’re tactics don’t put me in awe of your power. If it’s recognition of your power that you want, I think most of the world will agree that you do indeed have it. What I don’t have for this war is any idea of it’s purpose. It was supposed to be a war on terror. Now it has turned the other way and as Graham puts it, “the war on terror becomes a war of terror.” Media coverage would have us believe that this is a precise, clean cut battle. Bullshit. Media coverage talks up rapid capitulation. Bullshit. This war, launched 48 hours ago is going to last for years and anyone opposed to the US’s might over the next few decades is going to be pummelled into non-existence with a stamp of “terrorist” marked on their coffin.
Democracy was ignored in the Security Council. Democracy is about popular choice. Amerca’s version of global democracy is false - it is imposed democracy.
Who’s next on the chopping block?
article of copulation
The AFL has prohibited political statements or gestures on the field of play. Not that you’d see too many of those, but why do they have to make a rule? The AFL runs Australian football like Saddam runs (or used to run) Iraq. Fair dinkum! Restricting anyone’s right to say what they want when they want just isn’t on.
The TV war is in full swing. I have cable at home and was able to avoid yet another appearance by John Howard (Australia’s Prime Minister) on national television (he was broadcast on all channels similtaneously - horrific) last night. Watching CNN’s pixelated ‘tank cam’ has been amusing. I can just see some of those weird ‘war nuts’ sitting at home masturbating over the coverage (you know the type, they wear khakis to go grocery shopping and drive jeeps with army style print on the side). The funniest thing I’ve seen so far was last night when a BBC World reporter did an entire live report wearing a gas mask. The reporter was also wearing a v-neck t-shirt with short sleeves - so any bio/chem. attack would’ve killed him anyway.
The fun goes on.
free top soil
I haven’t seen a day like this before. As I type the light coming in through the window to the right of me is a filtered orange colour. This is because of dust. Millions of tonnes of top soil has been blown off farms and bushland around 200-400km from Melbourne. Visibilty is down to a kilometre or so and you can feel the dirt in your hair, on your skin and in your mouth. Ergh!
Christ, yesterday’s post was a bit angry. I just can’t stand how everybody just accepts this sort of behaviour from an overbearing villain of a country like the US. First it was TWAT (the war on terror), that ended with thousands of untried people in jail all over the world. Afghanistan is still rooted, just waiting for another despot to move in and take over in the next 10 years. Now Saddam is the new Dr. Evil. Yeah, he’s a prick, but if he is armed to the teeth with all sorts of bio-weapons and evil delivery systems (which is the whole reason behind the war) why do commentators predict that it’ll be over in a jiffy? If it is all over in a week then I’ll know that our short-arsed, retarded excuse for a PM, John Howard, has told another lie.
Oh, before I go. The latest from Sydney is that Bill Lawry has been arrested, not a lie, for climbing up onto the Sydney Opera House and finishing off the anti-war protesters’ slogan. Bill has been disaffected since not being picked to do World Cup commentary for Uncle Kerry.
That’s the first time I’ve “photoshopped” a photo, wow! Like my Granny once said, “Make sure you try something new everyday.”
what’s better?
The world’s greatest fundamentalist nation is going to be at it again real soon. God bless America indeed. If the world was a freeway, George W. Bush would be the impatient bloke with road rage. Fucking idiot!
This century may turn out to be the century of pre-emption. I have already set the standard in my own house by pre-emptively disposing of the innocent lives of millions of fleas that have been living in my carpet. They didn’t heed my 48 hour warning and were bombed accordingly. That’ll learn ‘em.
Peace activists have pre-emptively attacked the Sydney Opera House. Oh my lord. Bring back the death penalty!
The American government has set the example for all of us. An example that may one day be used by all of us in daily life. Attack whoever you want, whenever you want. You don’t need to substantiate claims against your opponent. Just fuck ‘em up.
bombs away
The weekend just gone was a PC free weekend. With the warm weather about to bugger off for another year I decided to get out ‘n about instead of spend whole afternoons connected to the internet, reading Spanish newspapers, blogs of varying quality and articles about how fucked up this world can seem to be sometimes. I’m doing all that reading tonight instead. Yeppahh.
Crikey! I’ve got only 26 sleeps left before I become a married man.
One event that I am sure rivals my wedding day is England’s annual “Pooh-sticks championship.” I was disappointed to find out that a “Pooh-stick race ” involves dropping a stick from a bridge into a stream of running water with the aim being for your stick to pass the downstream finishing line first. I thought the game would be better if it lived up to it’s name. When I was a kid I used to chase my sister around the backyard with a stick that I’d just dipped in the family dog’s doo-doo. Now THAT’S what I call a “poo-stick race.” Chasing a person with a shitty stick over a finishing line. Yep, I’ve lost it. Leave your psychological advice below.