Archive for August, 2003
when analog worms attack
s’been five long days since the last entry to this blog. In those last five days I think I’ve ruptured a couple of vertebrae lifting clothes washing mechanisms and trying to move mattresses on my own without any part of the mattress touching the ground. Now that’s tough work! The mattresses did touch the ground, but you’ll all keep that quiet won’t you?
Yes!! I’ve friggin’ well moved house. And what a move it has been. A good move. A move dangerously close to my favourite curry house. Curry Café is it’s name. It’s pretty good although the vindaloo isn’t anywhere near what I would call hot. In fact, the move is so close that it only takes 45 seconds to walk there. Most importantly my new house is only a 54 second walk to the front door of the local bottle shop. Yes, I timed it.
cutting and pasting and cutting
Live can’t get you down when you’re busy can it? Moving house, university, work, keeping a 9kg cat happy etc. Argh!! Such is life…
Over the last two days I have been cutting out articles from Melbourne’s two daily papers to send to my father in Brisbane. He is a huge fan of Jack Dyer, who died on Saturday morning. By Wednesday morning I’ll have about ˝ a kilo of newspaper clippings for dad. Like I said yesterday, footy is pointless for the rest of the year after last Saturday.
From a great sportsman, to this bloke. I can recall that when I was around 5 years old I was thrown out of a game of musical chairs for failing to put my arse on a seat. I threw a tantrum much like poor old Jon Drummond did. I damn well trained for days to be able to win that frigging game of musical chairs. I think we all know how he felt 
Did anyone catch that car being blown up by a homemade fertiliser/diesel bomb on The 730 Report tonight by the three Tasmanian doco makers? Hmmm. Round up all the horticulturalists I say. Start with Don Burke.
That’s it for tonight. I’m off to read some more articles about Jack Dyer, cut ‘em out, paste ‘em onto a piece of A3 and post ‘em to dad. Consider it a primitive form of weblogging/link sharing.
the hula-hoop killings
Another member of my family has disovered this blog. My sister. That’s Mum and my sis now monitoring my madness. Fair enough. All I need is now for my aunt (who happens to be a catholic nun) to find it and immediately travel to Melbourne to exorcise my PC and probably me.
It’s official, football sucks and is now irrelavent until next April (for Richmond fans at least).
My brain is just getting back into operating mode after a particularly nasty event on Friday night. I believe I was abducted by aliens. That’s the only reason to explain my sudden loss of memory after leaving The Tote, where I saw a couple of great bands - Golden Shower and Kamikaze Trio. I missed The Drones who were headlining mainly because I couldn’t be arsed which in hindsight was a bad idea. I don’t get out very often these days because of my strict savings regime, so I should have made the effort to see the headlining act. Now that I think about it, maybe the few cocktails I imbibed sometime between 1 and 2am in the Cobra Bar upstairs had something to do with that memory loss.
Naah. It was aliens.
i need a bottle in front of me, not a frontal lobotomy
Only the big kahuna in the sky knows where that heading came from. I think I saw it on a t-shirt years ago.
The hawks are out after the judge who convicted Hanson. Why? Part of the stupid cow’s platform was tougher sentences for lawbreakers. She broke the law , therefore she got jail. Simple. I can’t embezzle funds from my company and get away with it. Even if I paid them back ASIC/ATO would go through me like a laxative. I’d get locked up. The only anomaly is that there are fuckers who have stolen millions from taxpayers/shareholders/consumers over the last 20 years and very few of them are dealt with, locked up and forced to have water dripped on their heads for 2 years (bring back torture, yeah!). Alan Bond was the only one I can recall who REALLY paid his dues for the excesses of the 1980’s.
Anyway, Hanson is a pollie in Queensland. Queensland has a fine tradition of locking up bent politicians over the last 15 years. May it continue.
Whoever invented pollen needs a kick up the kyber. Now that the wattles are out all over this wide land, I am sneezing like I’ve been working in a pepper-grinding factory all day (I wonder if that’s an actual job?).
beer sandwich
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Shit, she only got 3 years. Damn! At least she can perform cooking duties in the lock-up. Who says the justice system doesn’t work well enough. I shouldn’t laugh though. Laughing at others’ misfortune is bad karma…ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
that kid who keeps farting at parties
mezzoblue.com is a good site to watch for tips on CSS layout and the like.
For the first time in my life I tipped against Richmond in my footytipping. I have never, ever tipped against my own side. And what happened? I got eight out of eight for the first time in my life with my football tips. I do my tipping with my ISP, optusnet. They have their own competition with plasma screen TV’s and the like as grand prizes. I’m ranked in the middle of the 23000 tippers so I’m not expecting to win anything more than a consolation boot up the arse to be honest.
This is a good headline, “POWER OUTAGE TRACED TO DIM BULB IN WHITE HOUSE.” This link is to a site run by Greg Palast, a contributor to BBC television and The Guardian. He has some interesting things to say about deregulation of utilities etc.
it’s hip to be hip
Hipster Bingo was very popular a few weeks ago. Now people are starting to take pictures as they fill in their hipster bingo cards.
Here’s a good way to get through the night if you happen to be in the eastern US tonight.
Ahh…a calvalcade of knock-knock jokes.
rock eisteddfod calisthenics
So some old man wanted to sell a shoulder launched ground-to-air missile and didn’t get away with it. Soaking up what most media sources say, you would’ve thought we were about to see a plane get shot down in the USA. No. The FBI set it up. The only thing that this operation proved was how easy it was to contact an arms dealer and buy a deadly weapon. It doesn’t mean we are at an immediate risk of being shot down while flying over to see grandma.
By now you probably know someone who has been hit with the blast.exe worm. Two friends of mine called me after they caught it by opening email without scanning or previewing it. I don’t know why the bloody hell they called me. Just because I know how to whack up a webpage it doesn’t mean I can cure all ills as far as PC’s go. Being a generous soul I went to symantec’s website and talked my friends through the removal process. It’s not too hard at all. I have done it once before with the sircam virus about a year ago now. Like the message hidden away with the latest virus says, “billy gates why do you make this possible ? Stop making money and fix your software!!.“
More legal crapola in the US. An author is being threatened with legal action by the FOX network for a trademark-infringement because he used three words…”fair and balanced.” Ahem.
When will the scourge that is haiku be stopped? The staff who put together the LaTrobe University website have slipped in a little bit of haiku on their 404 page. Sneaky bastards.
“The earliest bloggers have been at it for two years now” and it seems blogs are on the way out. Gee, that reporter did a fair bit of research didn’t he? Two years ‘eh!
backyard blitz for weblogs
Virulent Memes has had a complete makeover. It’s nice to see that someone else likes grey and black other than me.
The Age had some cheerful reading in it today. Killer nanobots, supervolcanoes, designer diseases, climate change, asteroids…bahh! Death is inevitable. If every one of us kicks the bucket together, it’ll be easier to get over. Bring on armageddon.
Heh. I wonder if Sony/EMI etc. would have you arrested for wearing this shirt?
What else can I wank on about. Oh yeah, a couple of stories from the BBC’s UK website. Mobile phone ring tones are set to outsell CD Singles soon. And did you hear the one about the pilot who asked his passengers for a show of hands to see if they wanted to attempt a take-off after HE had repaired the aircraft?” Hmm.
hit the road jack
I’m on the move again. At the moment there is so much choice out there in rental land it’s not funny. Prices are fighting to stay up as well. I got meself a bargain basement 3 bedroom terrace in Westgarth (Northcote). Anyone got any spare boxes?
little house on the paddock
the great baghdad chocolate drive
It’s that time of year again. Chocolate drive season. I get to visit many offices during my working day, making sure everybody is happy with their gardens and their indoor plants. For the last week or so, just as I am about to leave a client they say to me something like, “Oh, before you go, we’re selling these wonderful chocolates and jelly snakes. They’re only $2 a pop. Grab some. Help support *enter school/kinder/scout group name here* and your money will be put to good use.” I’d like to say “piss off, can’t you see I’m 95kg already from too much sugar,” but I wouldn’t have any customers left. So I just say I’m diabetic or tell them that I launch into uncontrolable fits of starjumps and cartwheels if chocolate hits my stomach. I reckon I paid about 25% of what I earnt last year in tax (not counting GST on most things I buy). Why the hell do kinders, primary schools and scout halls need more money then? Maybe to pay for all the grog, cheese and crackers at P&C nights. I dunno.