Archive for December, 2004

Most blogs are cheap versions of A Current Affair.

Over-opinionated individuals, I’m sure, will not go to heaven or hell upon their passing. Nor will they be reincarnated, resurrected or reconstituted. Their souls will have their own special waiting room in the afterlife. It’ll be an area filled with pocket radios (and those cool headset radio thingies will the aerial over one ear) all tuned to Southern Cross Broadcasting’s talk radio network. In 50 or so years it’ll be filled with the likes of John Laws, Stan Zemanek, Alan Jones et alii. What a place it will be! Non-stop arguments, endorsements and special guest commentators. Mad discussions on who was Australia’s best PM - Menzies or Howard. The occasional glass of water will get thrown and everyone will have a magical ‘drop’ button to silence any opposing views.

Whoah boy! part two

I’ll say it again…Whoah boy!

Mother nature’s been at her ferocious best over the last 28 hours or so. But I suppose you already know that. It’s always the poorer countries that get hammered the most isn’t it, and this time they’ll be buggered for years. Tourists are the lifeblood for all those coastal regions of Asia. I might quietly kick in a few quid for the poor buggers. The shitraking nightly current affairs programs on channels 7 and 9 are already beating up viewers into a frenzy about how Australia is in imminent danger of falling victim to a tsunami as well. They don’t stop do they?

Whoah boy!

A new look for a new blog. From now on this blog will be dedicated to horses, women in tight white riding pants who ride horses, blokes in black velvet top hats who ride horses, horse food, horse racing, bloodsports involving hounds and horses, horse manure, horse breeds, horse pictures, the idiocy of the Scandinavians eating horse meat, horseshoes, horsing around, saddles, spurs and horse shit.

No.

That’s all too much for me. I’ll leave that stuff to Melbourne University bloggers. I’ll just stick to horse shit. I’m good at that.

Gravelrash

I had an afternoon nap after I got home from work today. Is there a name for the funny taste that I get in my mouth after a daytime sleep? It only happens after a daytime sleeping session. Why? I need to know now.

There’ll be thousands of other people sleeping early tonight. When I left the Melbourne CBD at about 330pm today, there were more well dressed drunkards roaming the streets than I have EVER seen before. Tonight will be bedlam in the city. Top tip for today is that if you plan on getting pissed (and you are female), don’t even think of wearing anything with a heel on it. I saw at least 3 twisted ankles this arvo on the way home. Hopeless drunks!

Everyone’s getting jolly tonight it seems, while I’m at home registering a Trademark. I don’t want to but it IS necessary so my small business doesn’t get sued in a few years time when I actually intend on commencing trade. Setting up a small business is crazy. Abn numbers, trademarks, business name licences, insurance worries, superannuation regulations, taxation law, marketing, domain names and hosting. Fuck! I feel like screaming. Lucky I had that sleep this arvo. The fact that I’m not tired is the only thing that’s keeping me calm and collected tonight.

Everything’s getting bejesused.

CANBERRA - In his 9th year as Prime Minister of Australia, Peter Costello welcomed the New Year in style at his Melbourne residence last night. However, in restaurants and milkbars around Australia there were mass arrests as secret police enforced the new “grace” regulations. Never since the banning of smoking in 2007, and the outlawing of alcohol consumption in bars, clubs and hotels in 2012 has there been such a public outcry against behavioural modification regulations.

From midnight on January the 1st, 2015, anyone who consumes foodstuffs in public must offer a prayer of thanks to the almighty lord that can be heard within 5 cubits (cubits being the newly adopted measurement of distance under last year’s law changes). This law is proving hard to swallow for the immoral 43% of Australians who prefer not to follow Christianity. “It was only an olive!” proclaimed civil libertarian and former federal minister Alexander Downer, as he was dragged into the back of a police wagon in South Yarra. He was arrested for not praising the lord loudly enough at a CIVLIB meeting last night. Mr. Downer was also tounge swabbed after his arrest and charged with consumption of hommus, which has been declared an illegal substance. Mr. Downer has not been seen since his arrest 18 hours ago.

Use the comments section to complete this story

Firefox secrets

I was snooping around on blogdex and came across an article that explains some of Firefox’s secrets. If you use Firefox 1.0, give it a read. If you haven’t given Internet Explorer the flick, get Firefox now you lazy bastards.

Deeper and deeper.

Melbourne city has been very busy for the last couple of days. All I see is a procession of people, at all hours of the day with glossy plastic bags and the occasional ‘designer’ brown paper bag with the string handles. Each bag has an instantly recognisable logo or slogan on the side which (to me anyway) stands out like leg warmers at a yoga convention. At this time of the year I just have to ask myself a few questions. How much money is out there? Where does it all come from? How much money spent at christmas time is actually ‘owned’ by the carriers of these trademarked bags?

The answer to the first question I ask myself is plain. There’s as much money out there as people want. According to the majority of ‘consumer-class’ Australia, money is cheap. Debt is OK. Buy now, pay later.

As to where it all comes from…Well, our financiers are foreign lenders. Where else do you get surplus money from?

And the third question I ask myself has an easy answer. Not much. I went into a cosmetics shop to look for a gift for my wife yesterday and overheard 3 separate customers huff and puff because the EFTPOS machine refused to process their credit card purchase. “Have you got another card?” That’s the only line that the sales staff could come up with to assist each of the embarrassed shoppers.

When I eventually got to the counter after the others did the ‘credit card shuffle’, I felt like Donnie Brasco when I handed over two $50 notes. I doubt if most modern shoppers have even handled the cash they spend.

Editing.

I’ve been going through some of my old posts. Way back. I have had to edit out some paragraphs simply because the links have rotted and without the link, well, the paragraph was meaningless. Every single link that had rotted was from The Age, The Sydney Morning Herald or a Murdoch newspaper. The ABC, BBC and English newspaper sites that I have linked to over the past 4 years or so are the only ones that haven’t changed their archiving.

I have changed my archiving, twice. But I suppose I’m not read by hundreds of thousands per day. From now on I’ll have to link only to news items which are from news outlets that permanently archive their stories (and don’t charge for the privilege).

The internet killed the video star

This video takes the cake as far as I’m concerned (23 Mb). From the Grey Album. via IF THEN ELSE

The new and the old