Archive for December, 2005

On the road again.

Yesterday afternoon I said farewell to my life in Melbourne and began the drive to Brisbane. Driving generally sends me up the wall when it’s done around a city. But an interstate long haul is fantastic. Bush. Cattle. Wheat. Canola. Character filled towns. Big trucks. Stinking roadkill. Flies. Wee stops. Nice meat pies. The drive from Melbourne to Brisbane up the Newell Highway is something everybody has to do at some time.

Right now I’m hiding from the heat in a Motel room in the middle of Narrabri. 1100kms done - only 600kms to go tomorrow.

Aussie aussie aussie…

My brother-in-law lives 2 blocks from Cronulla beach. I rang him at about 7 this evening to see what was going on and he gladly told me that he had spent the whole day watching DVDs and napping after a christmas party last night. His other reason for staying in on a beautiful day was to avoid what he terms the “white trash brigade.” The white trash brigade seems to have hit full swing. Right now there’s a car on fire in his street (10pm). How very Australian.

There’s only one menace to society. Stupid people. Unfortunately there seems to be more around these days.

Please.

Please vote in the weblog awards and please, please let’s all try not to let Tim Blair win.

Jagshemash.

Oh oh. Borat has a website.

Water rats.

While I was walking home the other night, the old man from down the street (let’s call him Tom) was watering the grass nature strip in between the footpath and the road outside his home. It’s a strip of grass only a metre wide. Everyone else’s grassy bit is brown and strewn with weeds but Tom’s - hey it’s green, manicured and lush. The local Dogs just love to poo on it.

It was about 10pm and Tom didn’t see me as I ambled down the footpath and watered me as well as the grass. I got a fright and Tom couldn’t stop apologising for spraying me. I didn’t really give a crap as it was warmish and well, I assumed I would dry off in a few minutes. So that was that. I assured old Tom that everything was cool and dandy and there was no need for any more apologies. I headed home and forgot about it.

This afternoon he sheepishly approached after I’d parked my van and said in his eastern European accent, “Why you tell on me? You say everything OK?” I didn’t know what he was talking about and told him so. After 20 seconds of confusion I discovered that someone had dobbed him in to the council for watering his grass in the dark (nobody is allowed to water grass during water restrictions). The council had photos to prove that Tom is a criminal and he received a hefty fine. Tom wouldn’t tell me how much the fine was.

Who else but a local council would pick on a 70+ year old man?

I know I’m starting to sound like a whining shit, but christ almighty. Jaywalking is being cracked down upon, smokers are going to being banned from where smokers have smoked for the last one hundred and fifty years or so (pubs), old men can’t water their grass and secretly wishing John Howard would hurry up and meet the maker will be an offence worth 5 years in the clink.

But rules are rules I suppose. We need to follow them for our own good and the good of the queen and country. Ahem.